


Around You

by WatchforWitches



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Talks of Death, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 07:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21490531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchforWitches/pseuds/WatchforWitches
Summary: “Your blue friend told me about him,” Caduceus says lowly, “The one called Molly.”Caleb’s eyes closed at this. Thinking of someone’s name, and hearing someone say it outloud were two different beasts in this situation.
Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	Around You

**Author's Note:**

> Something a little different. Caduceus has such an easy way of talking to people and I wanted to see a conversation like this so I wrote it. I hope you enjoy!

“Mr. Caleb,” the voice is deep and reverberated around his head. It’s one of the first times that Caleb can remember hearing his new friend before seeing him. He does see him moments later, when he takes a seat on the ground next to him. “What are you doing out here so late? You should sleep, and it’s very cold outside.” 

“If we are being honest I hadn’t really noticed the cold.” It’s not completely true, he has felt the numbness in his fingertips for a while now, but the cold doesn’t make him uncomfortable when he feels like this. 

Caduceus just nods easily and looks up and across the field that Caleb had been staring into for some time. It could have been hours or minutes, he wasn’t sure. “Your blue friend told me about him,” Caduceus says lowly, “The one called Molly.” 

Caleb’s eyes closed at this. Thinking of someone’s name, and hearing someone say it outloud were two different beasts in this situation. Caleb had never been good at losing things, despite seeming to always lose everything. He never got good at it, he had always hoped he wouldn’t have had to. “Molly was,” Caleb heaved a great sigh, thinking fondly about the tiefling, “Interesting.” 

“More interesting to some than others?” Caduceus asks. The words are innocent enough, but they contain multitudes of meaning. 

“Ja,” Caleb agrees quietly, “You could say that.” 

Interesting. It was certainly a word. It wasn’t enough though. Caleb knew many words in many languages, but he had yet to find an appropriate one for Mollymauk. Fond memories play in his mind, warm hands and warm lips, a coy smile that made Caleb feel powerful, mighty in a way he had never been. He had been in love before, of course, he knew what it felt like, the easy security that true love provided. But he had also lost love before too. To his own evils, to unfortunate rearing and circumstances outside of his control. It had always sent him reeling in a way that required him to rearrange his life. 

He still hadn’t rearranged himself since Molly. He still dreams of the moment the life drained from his eyes, the denial that struck all of them that he was well and truly gone, forever, and they couldn’t save him. 

“I know that I come from a different world,” Caduceus speaks again slowly, “That we view these things in a very different light. But, if it provides you any comfort, death is just another adventure. We love people, and we lose them, but do we really lose? You got the time with him that you were meant to. Fate intertwined you when you needed each other most. And I know it’s not very reassuring, and it doesn’t take the pain away, the pain in your heart. But Molly’s journey continues. You can’t see him, he’s apart of everything around us now. We grow out of the dust, in a way, but we also become the dust again, at the end of it all. Death is something that we will all experience. There’s a peace in accepting it.”

Caleb looks up at Caduceus, frowning and serious. “There are times though, I think, that we are not meant to die. Times when others take that decision from us, no?” He thinks of his parents, of the screams he will never get out of his dreams.

“Death isn’t really like that,” the firbolg shrugs, “It’s not a decision that we make. Sometimes others make decisions that can lead to death, sometimes even on purpose. But it’s apart of our fate. I believe that we die when we are meant to. For whatever reasons, whatever decisions lead us there, it’s just a piece in a very large puzzle. That’s what I think. But I am sorry you lost him Mr. Caleb. I’m sorry you all lost him. But he is here, if you know how to look.” 

“How do I look?” Caleb asks, “How can you sense the dead? I’ve tried every spell, every route of magic I can that isn’t irrevocable and dark. You can’t bring people back.” 

“No,” he agrees solemnly, “You can’t. But just because they are on a different plane doesn’t mean they aren't here. He’s in the air around you, the flowers that bloom along the paths we walk. When you feel the sunshine just a little bit warmer it’s Molly. He’s here now,” Caduceus lifts a long arm up to the night sky, “In the stars that look down on you.” 

Caleb follows his arm up to the sky, and nods. “I will not lie to you Caduceus, I don’t know how much of that I believe. But it is a nice thought to have.” 

“You are allowed to grieve people you’ve lost,” Caduceus replies simply, “And you don’t have to believe they are in the earth around you. But you must know they are never gone. Even if to you Molly is just the memories you carry, then he still lives in that sense. And I hope that can be of some comfort to you Mr. Caleb.” 

Caleb nods once again, no longer having words for this kind of conversation. His brain is muddy with feelings and memories, and on nights like this one, when he cannot sleep, he finds himself out looking at the sky. “It does,” Caleb agrees, “I think in some ways I feel him around me like you’ve described.” 

“I’m glad,” Caduceus smiles. He sounds genuine in the way he always does, like it costs him nothing to be so nice, nothing at all how it makes Caleb feel doing the same.

He puts one heavy hand on Caleb's shoulder, and turns his face up towards the night sky. Caleb leans easily into the touch, sighing and letting his grief fill the spaces of him that remain empty. Maybe Molly was here, maybe he wasn't, Caleb couldn't say. He was good at magic but there's something about death that makes him feel completely powerless. 

Maybe Caduceus was right, and maybe he wasn't, but he was still here, and Caleb guessed that counted for something.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Comments/Feedback are all welcome and greatly appreciated!


End file.
